I have to be honest; I have no problem with clowns. Heck I would let a whole bunch of them move into my house with their huge shoes and their tiny little car and I would chase them around the house with a burning iron to see which ones can run the fastest. On weekends I will take them for walks and I will give them bags of candy to hand out to kids just to see how many dads will knock those clowns right off their feet. In fact, all I see for clowns and me in the future is laughter and good times. Oh clowns, how you make me smile. And what a perfect way to celebrate World Smile Day.
Ok so I have never watched “IT” as a child and by the time I actually did get around to watching it a few years ago the only thing that clown did to me was bore me to death.
I remember however having an incident with a mime once, and it involved an invisible box and a key I could not see. People were staring at me, waiting for me to take the key and free myself. Needless to say, I have never been much of a people pleaser so that day still annoys me. Ok, a mime is not exactly a clown and I’m not exactly afraid of mimes, I purely want to someday take revenge by perhaps locking them in a box they can see.
So yes, maybe I do not understand that half of you wet your beds for months after you’ve seen the movie and that you still can’t say the word clown without having flashbacks of you crying yourself asleep as a 6-year old. That is why for all you Coulrophobia sufferers out there I have put together a little something to make you realize that clowns really are that evil and if you don’t sleep with your eyes open they will either come and murder you or make sweet love to your ear. And you thought I was here to help…
There are a few cases of clown ghosts, or demonic clowns, or call it what you want. Clowns who have died and clearly were too miserable to go to tiny clown heaven, so they are just lingering behind to give people valid reasons to hate them.
In 2001 a father and his kids moved into an old house in Missouri (that coincidentally had a basement with a butcher shower, as if that is normal). Not long after they moved in they started seeing dark shadows lurking in corners and other strange unexplainable phenomena. Turns out, this ghost was a lot smarter than the average cupboard opener and he preyed on the kids’ weaknesses, and in the boys’ case was his fear of clowns. So the ghost would haunt the hallway as a demonic clown. Poor kid. Needless to say they moved out shortly after.
Then there is the ghost of Frederick Zozzaby in Liverpool. Zozzaby as a Czechoslavakian clown in the Edwardian era who committed suicide and allegedly his ghost remained behind to haunt unsuspecting children. His ghost form has a long crooked nose, hollow eyes and heavy makeup and with him lingers a sickly sweet smell, thought to be the odour of embalming fluid.
There are plenty of stories similar to these.
The harlequin entity that is often described as an androgynous creature with wide-open, dark eyes; long limbs and a white complexion that only appear to children as young as five or six.
The Vincent Hitchcock Clown Doll – named after Vincent Price and Alfred Hitchcock – that was purchased by a real estate agent from Oregon on an online auction for $500. Shortly after purchasing the doll she began experiencing bizarre occurrences like the doll vanishing and reappearing in unexpected places. Deep voices recorded on tape recorders when the room was empty also surfaced. It is believed that a spirit of a child possesses the doll.
I can go on and on. Bringing up characters like John Wayne Gacy. But I think I have given you enough to “smile” about for one day.
Happy World Smile Day, and remember, clowns are people too