Twitter and the Plague

I never considered Twitter to be a vital part of my day-to-day existence – not in my own personal capacity in any case. But soon after I started playing with the idea of “Of Mind” I realized that entering this unknown social media world would be a very important step to take. It was time for me to branch out.

I knew nothing about Twitter and up to now I was comfortable with knowing only that it had a blue bird as a logo. Nevertheless, I sat down and created an account. That was simple enough and soon after I had my logo up along with my background and my personal information.

This is pretty much how I felt when I started

This is pretty much how I felt when I started

I have now been using (quite badly I might add) Twitter passively for a few days and the more I give thought to it the more I feel that Twitter very much resembles the plague, or as most know it, the Black Death. I know this is a touchy subject, but I’m a touchy feely kinda gal.

As with the plague, I lived in fear that it will reach me sooner or later and that I couldn’t hide from it nor escape it. A person in the Middle Ages thought the plague was a punishment from God for doing wrong. I however feel it is punishment for not being more accepting of the little blue bird. The plague was also spread through rats and fleas and Twitter is spread through yes, a bird.

avoid the plague

A few days after you first became infected, you feel pain all over your body. You start to feel tired and lethargic and you had difficulties sleeping. Your speech became affected and within a matter of days you started to look like a drunk and a delirious fool. And the average time of death from the first symptom was between four to seven days.

Now let me go in to detail and explain the symptoms in relation to the Blue Plague.

A few days after you first started using Twitter, you feel pain all over your body (this comes from all the sitting). You start to feel tired and lethargic and you have difficulties sleeping because all you worry about is if you are posting the correct info? Are you spamming? Who do you follow? Who will follow you? Your speech becomes affected and within a matter of days you start to look like a drunk and a delirious fool i.e. speaking in tongues -hashtags, retweet, tweet, followers, following (the only thing missing here is the Kool Aid and we have a glorified cult).

Don't worry lil girl, I'm scared too!

Don’t worry lil girl, I’m scared too!

Some other symptoms that also shares shocking similarities:

Sudden onset of fever and chills – creating new and acceptable content in the Twitter sphere is as important as those wretched hashtags. When you cant deliver on this, the fever and chills set in and it sets in bad.

Headaches – simply put, stare at a screen for the most of part of your day, trying to figure out if Twitter is your friend or simply something the Chinese started using as a torture device much more intense than any dripping tap could ever be.

Fatigue – I am an over thinker. It’s just who I am. And if you are anything like me you will not sleep at night until you have planned out at least a weeks worth of tweets.

Muscle aches – I need a new chair sigh

The average time of complete addiction is four to seven days.


I am sad to say that I am nearing the seventh day and I fear that my time is up. This is a global epidemic and I feel my time to embrace it has finally come.

So, BFN, go forth and join my following – a Kool Aid free environment J

Want to know if you are an addict – go get tested here! (Thanks Oatmeal – seems I am addiction free)


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